fuck me, please

Jan 29

‘there was a girl here earlier’

‘there was a girl here earlier’

Happy Christmas. I got you the present of a dick.

Also, incase these underpants didn’t make clear, I’m gay now.

Happy Christmas. I got you the present of a dick.

Also, incase these underpants didn’t make clear, I’m gay now.

Feb 24

I couldn’t find the Cop, the Sailor, the Biker and the Workman.

I couldn’t find the Cop, the Sailor, the Biker and the Workman.

Feb 23

I tried to rotate this photo and say ‘I’d like to see you do that baby’ to the blond chick, but apparently Photoshop seems not to have incorporated Blade Runner technology yet.
Anyway, as I was trying to do that, I started imagining what it’d be like to be the dude who’s feet appear in the photo. ‘Oh my god guys! Check it! Those are my fucking feet’.

I tried to rotate this photo and say ‘I’d like to see you do that baby’ to the blond chick, but apparently Photoshop seems not to have incorporated Blade Runner technology yet.

Anyway, as I was trying to do that, I started imagining what it’d be like to be the dude who’s feet appear in the photo. ‘Oh my god guys! Check it! Those are my fucking feet’.

Feb 22

Whatever man. You guys know how much work it is to find a photo of two girls making out on Facebook?
I don’t even care if its like a drunk four, it’s happening.

Whatever man. You guys know how much work it is to find a photo of two girls making out on Facebook?

I don’t even care if its like a drunk four, it’s happening.

I recently learnt the phrase ‘surprise surprise, right in the eyes’.
I’ve pretty much been thrusting my crotch at women and shouting that since.

I recently learnt the phrase ‘surprise surprise, right in the eyes’.

I’ve pretty much been thrusting my crotch at women and shouting that since.

Anonymous asked: did you delete your facebook?

Yes. Yes I did. Harder to steal now. Promise updates soon.

Oct 25

I had a really bad acid trip once and kept seeing this girl everywhere I was looking. I finally manage to find my bed and she’s hiding underneath it grabbing my ankle.

I had a really bad acid trip once and kept seeing this girl everywhere I was looking. I finally manage to find my bed and she’s hiding underneath it grabbing my ankle.

Oct 24

Still ain’t a playa, just fuck a lot.

Still ain’t a playa, just fuck a lot.

Oct 23

I’m usually not so great at this kind of thing, but, I assure you; that chick is a dude.

I’m usually not so great at this kind of thing, but, I assure you; that chick is a dude.